


Smell

by EverybodyLovesEggsy



Series: Senses [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship, with a hint towards getting together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:23:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverybodyLovesEggsy/pseuds/EverybodyLovesEggsy
Summary: So after making two works based on PTSD having to do with touch and hearing, I decided why not make one on smell? So, welcome to traumatized Eggsy having PTSD based off of smell.





	Smell

Smoke and alcohol. Thick, pungent, burning mixed with bitter chemical. The stench filled Eggsy’s nose, leaving him gasping for breath. It was the one smell he couldn’t seem to escape; the one smell Eggsy associated with yelling and abuse; the smell he associated with Dean.

Eggsy struggled to focus on the room he was in. The longer he choked on the scent that permeated the room, the more Eggsy found he couldn’t focus. He could faintly hear someone’s voice, over the blood rushing in his ears, as his vision began to flicker at his lack of breathing.

He had to get out of there. Away from Dean.

Eggsy shook his head. Dean wasn’t there; just that horrible stench. The stench that had always meant abuse was soon to come. Eggsy tensed and quickly searched the room. He couldn’t see anyone but he could still hear a voice in his ear. A voice that sounded… worried?

Merlin, his mind reminded him. With that, he was finally able to register the man’s words over his panicked breathing.

“Galahad. Galahad! Can you hear me? Eggsy, dammit, answer me! Come on, lad, what’s going on?”

“Merlin”, Eggsy managed to choke out.

“Eggsy! Alright, lad, I need you to breath for me, okay? You’re having a panic attack so I need you to calm down.”

Eggsy tried to take a deep breath, but stumbled to his knees, gagging when he _tasted_ that horrible smell on his tongue.

“Eggsy! Eggsy, I need you to breath.”

The agent shook his head and gasped out, “Can’t. Breath. Smell.”

“Alright, I need you to stand then, lad. Can you stand?”

Eggsy nodded.

“Good. Okay, I’m going to lead you out, Eggsy. You see that door across the room? I need you to walk through it.”

Eggsy nodded again and shakily pushed himself up from his feet and stumbled through the door. The minute the door closed, Eggsy took a huge gulp of air, no longer choking on the smell. His vision stopped flickering, but Eggsy still couldn’t breathe completely normal, the stench lingering in his nose.

“That’s good, Eggsy. Keep breathing, lad. You just need to make it out of the building and back-up will be there to help.”

Eggsy nodded again and followed Merlin’s instructions. He barely registered where he was going, mind still reeling from the scent he couldn’t get away from. The farther Eggsy got away from it, the more he expected the smell to go away, causing his panic to rise when it didn’t. Finally, Eggsy stepped outside and took a breath. When that did nothing to wash away the scent, he began to full-blown panic again; Eggsy couldn’t escape the smell. Nothing he tried would ever make it go away. Merlin’s voice faded away and Eggsy’s vision began to flicker again as oxygen once again couldn’t find a way into his lungs with his erratic breathing.

Just when he thought he would pass out, his senses were invaded with a new smell. Aftershave, cologne, gun powder and a hint of alcohol.

_Harry_.

Eggsy greedily gulped in air as he stumbled into the man who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Strong arms kept him upright and Eggsy wished he could wrap himself up in the man’s scent. He couldn’t help but think that alcohol actually had a particularly _good_ smell when mixed with the rest of Harry’s scent.

At that thought, awareness flooded back into Eggsy, causing his eyes to snap open wide. He was currently standing in Harry’s arms, hands gripping the man’s suit jacket – unsure when that happened – and his nose buried in his chest. Harry had one hand wrapped around his waist and the other carding through his hair as he whispered in Eggsy’s ear.

“Breathe, Eggsy. Everything is fine. Your safe.”

Eggsy swiftly pulled away, ignoring the fact that he immediately missed both the warmth and smell that came from the man, and looked around him. They were still standing directly outside the empty office building he had gotten intel from. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to get words to come out but unable to under Harry’s concerned stare, until Harry finally spoke up louder than a whisper.

“Why don’t we get back to the plane and talk there?”

Eggsy nodded dumbly and followed the older man. It wasn’t until they were back in the plane, both of them standing at the bar, and headed to London that Eggsy was able to find words.

“How did you get here?”

“I was in the area for a meeting.”

Eggsy nodded but continued staring into the drink he held.

“My boy, what happened?”

The younger man closed his eyes and gripped his drink harder. He didn’t think he’d ever have to tell Harry or Merlin, who he knew was still listening through his and Harry’s glasses, about his problem. PTSD, his mind supplied with disgust. He could count on two hands the number of things that could have given him PTSD after the childhood he had. Just between the amount of yelling and abuse that Dean afflicted, Eggsy should by all rights have a hard time functioning in stressful situations. He was proud to say that he was unaffected by all of those things except one. Smell.

Luckily, as long as Eggsy avoided the mixed smell of smoke and alcohol, he was usually fine; even if he smelt the stench, he was usually fine. But that room had been so concentrated with the scent, most likely a breakroom of some sort, that Eggsy was immediately gasping for clean air as he tried to keep his head in the present.

“Eggsy?”

The man in question sighed, opened his eyes, and tossed back the rest of his drink. Only once his glass was empty did Eggsy move his eyes to look up into Harry’s.

Seeing only concern in the man’s gazed, Eggsy sighed again and looked away, ashamed, “The room smelled like smoke and alcohol.”

The younger agent moved to refill his drink, an excuse to do something with his hands.

“When Dean would be at his most violent, he also smelled like smoke and alcohol.”

Eggsy watched from the corner of his eyes as understanding dawned on Harry’s face and threw back his newly refilled drink before continuing.

“That stench was the only thing getting through my brain besides pain at times. But usually the smell doesn’t affect me this bad,” he shook his head, “It was just so _strong_.”

There was silence between the two of them for a moment after that. Eggsy carefully set his empty glass down on the counter and resolutely refused to look at the judgement he knew he’d find on Harry’s face. Afterall, Kingsman agents saw and experienced worse things than a step-dad who liked to beat women and kids.

“Eggsy, look at me.”

Shocked by the soft tone of voice, Eggsy hesitantly looked up at the older agent. His eyes met Harry’s and only found understanding and concern there.

Harry slowly reached over and took one of Eggsy’s hand in his before saying, “There is nothing to be ashamed of, my boy. It is perfectly normal to walk away with some things that remind you of your life.”

Eggsy took a shaky breath, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that there was no judgement coming from the man.

“Would it help if I said I have a fear of spiders after seeing a Goliath Birdeater attack a man I was after in Venezuela?”

Eggsy couldn’t hold in the small bark of a laugh he let out, “Spiders, Harry? Really?”

“The thing was unbelievably huge. I have been unable to look at any of them the same”, the older man replied defensively.

Eggsy chuckled softly and looked down to stare at their still joined hands. Neither of them had realized that they were still joined until then. When Harry tried to pull his hand away, Eggsy squeezed the man’s hand in his, “Please, don’t.”

Harry noticeably paused before letting his hand be taken hostage, “What can I do to help, my boy?”

The younger agent hesitated before saying, “Earlier helped. Your… your scent… blocked out the smell.”

Eggsy’s cheeks burned when he was only met with silence. He was just about to remove his hand from Harry’s when the man asked, “May I?”

Eggsy looked up at him in confusion but nodded, trusting Harry. Before he registered what was happening, strong arms engulfed his frame, not unlike the way they did just outside of the empty building. Eggsy tensed for a second before relaxing and wrapping his own arms loosely around the man’s waist, content with the warmth he felt surrounded by.

“Better?”

The young agent made a contented sound as he took a deep breath of the intoxicating, _safe_ smell that was Harry. They stayed in that position for a while, both of them content with their positions. Eggsy wasn’t sure if it was ten minutes or an hour later that they were informed that they were approaching HQ.

Eggsy began to pull away, intending to buckle in for landing, but paused and looked up at Harry when the man didn’t let go.

“You ever need this, or any other form of comfort, come find me. I will always be here for you, my boy.”

Eggsy swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded. When they were buckled in for landing, Harry took his hand again and Eggsy smiled. He couldn’t help but think that perhaps there were worse things than a little PTSD, especially when he had Harry to help him get through it.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone is curious about the Goliath birdeater spider, it is the world's biggest spider that only attacks humans when threatened. I read another fic way back where a fear of spiders is mentioned so I decided that Harry should have a little bit of a ridiculous fear brought on for a good reason in order to help comfort Eggsy some. I myself am slightly afraid of them and know it is slightly ridiculous with how small and harmless they usually are where I am from, but if you have a general fear I mean no offense. If you don't have a fear of them, then kudos.
> 
> The end didn't turn out as good as I hoped it would, but I hope you guys liked it! Don't forget kudos and comments are much appreciated (and secretly begged for).


End file.
